How To Tell the Difference Between a Group of Idiots and a Coup

Welcome to the Idiocracy—Banana Joe’s Republic, episode 5 of Season 2. I’m your host and Domestic Cuddly-Fluff, Thor Ramsey, fighting the rising tide of wokeness one joke at a time. 

Today, I’m pretending that we have a live-studio audience who have been up all night celebrating their lack of participation in the events of January 6th, a day that will live on in the infancy of Kamala Harris’s mind. All that to say, one take is all I get and if I flub, well, another jokes bites the dust. 

And now, our first joke on the teleprompter. Hey, stay with me, people! It’s not my fault you were up all night celebrating.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney visited the House of Representatives with his daughter Liz on January 6th where they observed a moment of silence for Joy Reid’s career.

Our main subject today: How To Tell the Difference Between a Group of Idiots and a Coup.

In countries where coup’s actually happen, the insurrectionists don’t stop and take selfies. “This war was won on Instagram!”

You can tell it’s a group of idiots rather than true insurrectionists if before storming the Capital they share a joint.

It was disgraceful and many deserve to be prosecuted, but it wasn’t exactly Pearl Harbor. Shoot, I remember a fight in Junior High that had more action. 

Yet, CNN described it as 1,000 times worse than 9/11. This same reporter has also said a pimple on the end of your nose is 1,000 worse than cancer. I should put it in context, though. That pimple did appear the night of prom.

Real insurrectionists don’t have their mom drop them off.

If a mob hunts down politicians in a real insurrection, they catch them. And soon there are bodies hanging from the overpass. The only thing hanging from the overpass on January 6 was Nancy Pelosi’s expression. Because of botox, she can’t look shocked naturally, thus the eyebrows.

Real insurrectionists don’t eat hamburgers that are plant-based alternatives, because real insurrectionists have you for lunch.

A group of idiots says, “We’re committing a coup. And I hope it’s made by Ford, because Ford coups are American made.”

That’s our program for today. I want to thank our director, Jefferson Drexler, our executive producer, Joel Fieri, our social media master, Danny Avila, and my co-writer Ron McGehee. I’d also like to thank Ron Bass for our new intro graphics.

If you liked this episode, but sure to click like, because there is no “loved it” button. Even if you only found it mildly amusing, click like, because we might be funnier in the future. If you want to fight the rising tide of wokeness in this country, click like because at least we’re trying. And please subscribe, because that’s the most meaningful vote of all.

I’m Thor Ramsey and I hope you’re less woke, America.

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