Comedy Is A Language of Protest – The Abortion Special
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls—welcome to the Idiocracy—Banana Joe’s Republic, episode 15 of Season 2. I’m your host and shoe cobbler-slash-hat maker, Thor Ramsey, fighting the rising tide of wokeness one joke at a time.
This might explain the state of our culture. It’s a little Bible quote. And He was asking him, “What is your name?” And he said to Him, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” And now we have the personal pronoun “they.” Just saying.
“My pronouns are Many and Legion.” Welcome to Twitter.
It cannot be denied that demons are out in full force now that Supreme Court documents regarding Roe v. Wade have been leaked. The good news is that Ketanji Brown Jackson suddenly knows what a woman is.
Elizabeth Warren, someone who confused Ketanji Brown just weeks ago, is very upset. I haven’t seen her so angry since the time her DNA test came back… and she lost her stake in that casino.
Rachel Levine was seen wearing a t-shirt that said, “My body, my choice.” You have no arguments there.
Many pro-abortionist women are now going on a sex strike, which ironically would prevent more abortions. Where I come from, we call that celibacy.
Instead of Planned Parenthood, how about Plan Ahead Parenthood? The plan should come before the oops.
Elizabeth Warren claimed that 69% of Americans want abortion to be the law of the land. First, do you know what else the majority wanted? Barrabas.
Second, that’s not how Constitutional Law works, Lizbeth. You know, because it’s based on the Constitution. It has nothing to do with majority rule. That’s why you’re still looking for that abortion clause. Just because something’s popular doesn’t make it right. I mean, Hillary Clinton won the popular vote.
Third, after forcing the LGBTQ agenda upon us, now you’re concerned about what the majority want?
What’s everyone on the left so mad about? It’s not like overturning Roe will stop abortions. They could still go to California because California knows how to take care of problems. Just look at what they’ve done with homelessness, taxes, CRT, drugs, crime on the Metro Link, and the high-speed rail. Where did that money for the high-speed rail go anyway? Something was traveling fast.
California’s new slogan: “Go West, young man. But not that far West. Go ahead and slow down in Texas.”
Let’s think about this. They’re mad because they can’t kill babies everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean everywhere. Some of them want to do it outside the womb. If some had their way, abortion would be legal until the kid was eighteen. I can imagine their reasoning. I mean, with a baby, you don’t know what you have yet, the next Einstein or the next Hitler, but give them until they’re eighteen, then you can sit down and have that talk with them. “You know, son, you quit school, you still don’t have a job, we’re gonna abort ya.”
Anticipating the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Bible in Bulk is launching a new ministry called Babies in Bulk. Adoption is an option.
Planned Parenthood plans to move operations in hostile states online. How does an online abortion work? Well, it’s a simple procedure. You tweet “abortion is murder,” and then someone terminates your tweet.
Protesting outside of the homes of Supreme Court Justices, some abortionists held signs that said, “If abortion is not safe, then neither are you!” It is shocking that abortionists would display such a wanton disregard for human life. Oh, wait. No, it isn’t.
The question is, “Why isn’t anyone being arrested since this is a violation of the law?” Oh, because the date’s wrong. It’s not January 6th, which is the official date people get arrested for protesting after police wave them in. Huh?
Other protestors had signs that said, “We will not go back!” [Beat] I fear where you’re going is worse than that.
Author and speaker Jen Hatmaker, who used to write Christian lifestyle books, has been getting a lot of notoriety for her recent fiction.
Now, I have a question for Christian publications at large. When are you going to stop referring to Jen Hatmaker as a Christian? There is nothing remotely Christian about how she views the world. And I know I’ll be the bad meanie saying this because, you know, who am I to judge except based upon the revelation of God’s will which we find in Holy Scripture where the Apostle Paul tells us we must evaluate, nicer sounding word, those in the church, which Hatmaker claims to be part of.
Hatmaker also claims that data “unambiguously” proves that “making abortion illegal doesn’t lower abortion rates.” Really? I’m not sure if I believe that. Why don’t we make abortion illegal and see if it’s true? You know, just as a test. Somehow, no one’s saying for sure, administrations that are pro-abortion in every way, shape, and form somehow have lower abortion rates. We don’t know how exactly, but somehow, maybe because the media keeps repeating it.
Hatmaker further argued that abortion is a choice women make for “endless personal reasons including the health of the baby.” Yeah, you heard right: The health of the baby? “I’m a horrible cook. Kill the baby!” If nothing else, her reasoning is that of a leftist.
However, many of her followers didn’t agree with her—the Christian ones.
“Endless personal reasons.” Could one of those personal reasons be that if you’re a Christian, you would wait to see how many sheep this guy owns before giving up the goods?
The first person to recognize Jesus was an unborn child. And here’s Jen Hatmaker all growed up, and she can’t see him right before her eyes.
Her books are still in Christian stores, which only proves that conservatives are more tolerant than leftists.
Jen Hatmaker may wear many hats, but we know that a MAGA hat will not be one of them.
Historically speaking, the most comprehensive birth control has been free for centuries. It is simply the word, “No.”
I keep hearing this claim that there were fewer abortions under Obama than under Trump. Politicians have no control over how often people have sex. Not yet.
Now that we have a Ministry of Thought, I’m sure it won’t be long until the government promotes National Hump Day.
Even if that stat’s true, it had nothing whatsoever to do with Obama’s policies. Unless it was, “Oh, no! We can’t bring a child into this world under this administration.” Or it could have just been white guilt. “Honey, I know you want more children, but they’re gonna be white. People will think we hate Obama.”
Isn’t it interesting that as soon as the government rolled out the Disinformation Governance Board, Psaki said, “I’m out. I mean, my job is hard enough, and now you throw me this?”
I watched the movie 2000 Mules this last weekend, and it’s causing quite an uproar. You should see it. Now, you can argue all you want about 2000 Mules. What you can’t deny is that jackass in the White House!
And it is misinformation that the word jackass appears in the Bible. The word ass appears 80 times in the King James Bible. All that to say, let’s not be more prudish than the Bible itself, folks.
Finally, I’m a little tired of hearing sound biblical and popular preachers (in most cases) rail on about how preachers shouldn’t talk about politics from the pulpit. We shouldn’t align with any political party, is the argument. Maybe that was good advice a decade ago. It was my line of thinking until this last election. But I cannot get my mind around how any professing Christian whose view of the world is informed by the biblical text can align themselves with a party that’s platform is not just the death of pre-born children but actual infanticide. “You can’t be a one-issue voter.” Well, you should be, my friend, when that party’s platform is about killing babies.
And people can say, “Sure, cheating is found on both sides of the partisan divide,” but it’s proven that Democrats cheat more. Oh, it’s also proven that they kill more babies.
And the work of the Democratic party, which claims to be for people of color, has demonstrably made race relations in this country worse. I have three children. I never had the thoughts I’m about to admit to you with my two oldest children. When I’m at the park with my four-year-old son, and he’s playing with children of color, I worry about what they might say to him. Yes, about his race. That’s a sad confession. And I’m always relieved when everything at the park goes well, and the parents don’t seem to hate me because I’m white. And it all stems from the politicization of race, something the Democrats have done expertly.
Don’t talk about politics? It’s like the pastor who won’t talk about abortion because it might offend someone in the congregation. And all done under the guise of reaching people. I thought we reached people with the truth, and when we’re afraid to speak the truth in love, we’ve lost.
Comedy is a language of protest.
That’s our program for today. I want to thank our director, Jefferson Drexler, our executive producer, Joel Fieri, our social media master, Danny Avila, and my co-writer Ron McGehee. I want to thank Christopher Shawn Shaw, our joke tester—who samples every joke for toxic content. (May he rest in peace.) I’d also like to thank Ron Bass for our new intro graphics.
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I’m Thor Ramsey, and I hope you’re less woke America.
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