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From FOXNEWS:

A Southern California high school basketball coach has been suspended and faces accusations of mercilessly running up the score after his team won a game 161-2, one of the most lopsided scores in state history.

You know, soundly beating your adversary in a sports contest… we can’t have any of that! What if the students get used to all the success?161-2

Arroyo Valley High girls’ coach Michael Anderson was suspended for two games after the victory last week against Bloomington High.

So, first they punish him for not putting a stop to the beating on Bloomington, then they try to fix the problem by pulling him out of the game so that the team can beat up on the next team without the coach’s supervision.

Anderson said that he wasn’t trying to run up the score or embarrass the opposition. His team had won four previous games by at least 70 points, and Bloomington had already lost a game by 91.

“The game just got away from me,” Anderson told the San Bernardino Sun Friday. “I didn’t play any starters in the second half. I didn’t expect them to be that bad. I’m not trying to embarrass anybody.”

He says if he had it to do again, he’d have played only reserves after the first quarter, or “I wouldn’t play the game at all.”

I guess if he really had to do it all over again, he would have blindfolded all his players, wrap their legs with ankle weights, spin them around and threaten them that I’d send their families to prison if they didn’t perform substandardly.

But hindsight is 20/20.

But Bloomington coach Dale Chung says Arroyo Valley used a full-court press for the entire first half to lead 104-1 at halftime.

“People shouldn’t feel sorry for my team,” Chung said. “They should feel sorry for his team, which isn’t learning the game the right way.”

Now, I’m no sports aficionado, but isn’t “winning” part of “learning the game the right way”? I mean, what is Coach Chung telling his team? “You know what, gang? They’re not learning the game the right way, so you just keep doing what you’re doing! At least we’re doing it the right way!”

At least Bloomington can still brag: “Hey, nobody has ever shut us out!!”

 I mean, I’ve lost a lot of games in my time, but I’ve never heard of a losing coach blaming the winning coach for their loss. I’ve heard of warped floors and substandard equipment being blamed, but never the winning competitor.

Then again, there’s a great metaphor for life in there… when it feels like life is beating the crud out of you, just keep on keeping on, blame life… because you’re doing it the right way!

Next, my dear friend Kristin Weber calls into the show to talk about the key to being funny: Eating Chipotle. According to Kristin, life feels like a string of humiliating events strung together by trips to Chipotle.kristin weber

But it’s a new, random “opportunity” that is on her front burner. MTV heard that she mentors teenagers and since, according to the MTV exec’s, “Christianity is in right now”, they are looking for someone to put on a reality show about Christians.

Now, technically, it’s been “in” for over 2000 years, so it’s good that MTV is catching up with world events.

They told Kristin something she has never heard before. When she asked why they picked her, they responded, “Well you seem pretty relevant.” Kristin had no choice but to reply, “I should probably tell you that up until a month ago, I had a flip phone. I had to upgrade after getting called out by a homeless person about my flip phone.”

Then, the MTV guys asked if she would even be interested in doing a reality show. Unfortunately, Kristin knows very little about the genre. The only reality show she has ever seen is “Toddlers and Tiaras”, a show about child beauty pageants in the South, and the crazy moms who live out their failed dreams through their little girls. When you watch, it’s really easy to pass judgment on them, but you can’t because, as they reveal, it is so much easier to dress your kid up like a “prosti-tot” than to get up on a treadmill and put some makeup on yourself!

I know it sounds mean… until you watch an episode and see these moms in action!

For one, they always make it seem like the whole thing is the kid’s idea. Like the little girls love it so much. Until they show the mini-person crying, “I don’t want to go!”

Cut to mom looking into the camera, “She don’t mean that. She’s just cranky because we had to get her up at 4:00 am in order to airbrush tan a six-pack on her for the floosy contest.”

But back to the MTV “opportunity”… when a young Christian girl makes a mistake, realizes that she needs help and seeks out someone like Kristin to help mentor her, encourage her, support her, and lead her back to the path of life that God has called her to be on according to His will. When she is struck with that painful realization that doing life on her own, leads to nothing but pain and loneliness… the last thing she needs is a camera crew in her face, ready to exploit her mistakes for entertainment’s sake!

Finally, globetrotting comedian Jason Earls joins the show, fresh off his trip to Japan. He has also performed in Ghana at a private school… then again all schools in Ghana are private, since none of their buildings have windows on them.JasonEarls1

But he has to keep going to support his large family. Jason has half-a-dozen kids at home. As Jason puts it, “The Gospel according to Luke says, ‘What God has put together, let no man put asunder”, which Jason combines with Luke the musician’s lyrics, “Don’t stop. Get it. Get it.”

Words to live by.

His kids’ names are: Aaron, Alexandria, Alisha, Andrew, Akeem, and Anaiah. That’s the first time Jason made straight A’s!

What’s really amazing is when they all get together and get their combined comedy vibes going. Now, they haven’t started pulling their own weight yet. They haven’t sold any tickets yet, to Jason’s chagrin. But they are funny.  Just like their dad!

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