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From CBS Sacramento:

Twitter Has Potential To ‘Induce Psychotic Symptoms’. A new study finds that the downside to global social networks is the potential to ‟aggravate or even induce psychotic symptoms” in psychologically vulnerable patients. (by the way, you can find our twitter link here: @darenstreblow)

Five doctors examined the real-life case of a 31-year-old woman the authors called ‟Mrs. C,” who was admitted to the psychiatric ward of a hospital in Berlin.

Medical records showed “Mrs. C” had never shown signs of any kind of personality disorder until she was committed following a year-long obsession with Twitter.

‟Sometimes, she would spend several hours a day reading and writing messages, neglecting her social relationships and, sometimes, even meals and regular sleeping hours,” said the study. (psychotic symptoms? Sounds totally normal to me.)

Under examination, Mrs. C. told the doctors she believed a famous actor was secretly responding to her tweets through coded messages, which she claimed to receive from lots of different sources on Twitter. ‟During the next couple of weeks, Mrs. C increasingly felt that the messages of other users were ‛meant in a symbolic way’’ and that she had to react to these ‛tasks’ in a certain manner,” the doctors noted. ‟After approximately two months, she started to discover the same symbols in her real-world environment. She then began to feel that there ‛must be some organization behind these tasks’ and started to suspect a sect, pointing to the development of systematized paranoid delusion.” (isn’t this the same formula for Blues Clues? I think she was just having fun!)

Mrs. C. eventually recovered from her symptoms, losing all interest in Twitter in the process. The doctors declared her free of Internet addiction. (and promptly billed her $75,000… payable online, of course)

But how do we know that these “messages” Mrs. C thought she was receiving weren’t actually true?

Next, Jinny Henson calls in to the show and shares the commonalities of having a student driving in the house with when they were infants. Jinny remembers when she was about to leave the hospital with her newborn baby thinking, “You’re just gonna let me leave with this person without any supervision? That’s crazy! Shouldn’t I have to pass a test or something?”

It’s a similar situation when a 15-year-old gets their driver’s permit. Somehow, just because their parents forked over $400 for a “class”, they’re capable of getting behind the wheel of a moving vehicle?? And is was Jinny’s reward for her participation in this? Hours upon hours of being seatbelted shotgun next to her son in the “deathseat”. What they should do is commend the parents of student drivers, when they finally pass their test and receive their license, is a prescription for Zoloft.

Finally, Kenn Kington joins the fun and reflects on the good ol’ days – going on a 1:00 am WalMart run to play a rousing game of “Freak the Cashier”. Each participant had five minutes to grab any three items from the store. And, whoever got the biggest reaction from the midnight shift cashier claimed victory. Kenn’s “go to” move was collecting: One box of Depends Undergarments, a Hannah Montana t-shirt, and one snow tire. Gold medal every time! The cashier would inevitably ask, “Oh my goodness, what are you doing?” to which Kenn would reply, “I can’t tell you, but it’s gonna get weird.”

WalMart after midnight is the absolute cheapest form of late night/low budget entertainment. Where else can you find the freaks of society on parade, including the family with the four-year-old who so badly wants to cry out, “My parents are idiots! It’s two in the morning and I have a mullet, an earring, and a tattoo… and I’m only four-years-old!!”