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Halloween is right around the corner. Now, remember when we were kids and the costumes consisted of cheap plastic masks with a stapled on rubber band to secure it to your face? The mask often didn’t even resemble the character your were dressed as – more like a mummified version of Superman or the Bionic Man. Plus, the mask had a tiny little slit at the mouth-ish area, which was too small to effectively breathe through, and MUCH too small to get any candy through. So, you inevitably ended up with a tootsie roll or two jammed in there by the end of the night.
But the worst part of Halloween were the neighborhoods inhabited by health food nuts. Not only would they condemn me for dressing up like a candy bar, but they would give me new vegetable-based costumes to try to correct my disgustingness. I just viewed it as getting new costumes (so what I had to dress as broccoli or cauliflower when I wore them). And what about the adults who give away literature?? At least throw in a couple candies with your leaflets!
Then, Brother Preacher calls into the show to talk about a few things that have been running through his mind lately. First off, after 30 years in the ministry, he finally worked his career up to the point of being able to preach across the phone lines to a comedian in Minnesota wearing nothing but his underwear. (THAT’S the big time!) And, have you ever noticed that some denominations seem like they’re heading straight to hell? (maybe the ones who refuse to pick up a check when y’all meet at the café for breakfast?)
Finally, Kristin Weber adds her feminine touch to the show. Her start in showbiz came from a terrible self-image, making fun of herself through self-awareness and discovery. But today, her act has changed – largely due to the fact that she just stopped caring. Now, she mostly just observes the funny things in the world around us. But that doesn’t stop her from laying out the irony of her desire to beatbox and bust a move while having a proficiency at playing the accordion. She’s so square, she can’t even speak the same language as today’s youth, as she is primarily fluent in sarcasm and wit, while the middle schoolers she recently spoke to merely spoke literalism and geography (they got an “F” in comedy that day).
Check out Kristin’s new book, “The Smart Girl’s Guide to God, Guys, and the Galaxy” (a better title than the one she wanted: Hey, You! Read This!), available at www.kristinweber.com or anywhere books are sold.