Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
I hate it when anybody tries to look over my shoulder at my computer screen. It’s like a total breach of privacy. It makes me feel vulnerable and violated.
And my kids do it to me all the time!
You’d think they could at least pretend to not be spying on me. Instead, they press up against me, mouths agape, staring at my screen; with the smell of frosted mini-wheats and the sound of a faint nose whistle floating around my head.
They hover over me like a black helicopter hovers over a conspiracy theorist’s apartment! I hate it!
It’s supposed to be like this: They should see me at the computer and assume that I am merely surfing the web and it’s none of their business. Out of respect and human decency alone, they should keep their distance.
Instead, they see every keystroke, every mouse click and every balding cream article I bring up (they even have the nerve to tell me it’s a scam and I won’t grow my hair back!)
It’s not like life is fair and I peer over their shoulders when they’re helming the computer…mostly because what they look at is so boring! All they do is watch other people play video games.
(Today on Minecraft highlights, we’re going to show you how to dig another hole!… and another one… and another one… and another one.)
But, don’t ask me how it is that I know exactly what it is they look at when they surf the web. I’m the dad. That’s how I know.
Next, comedian Juanita Lolita joins the show to share how difficult it is to have a name like Juanita Lolita and not speak a lick of Spanish. There are a lot of expectations that come with such a flavorful moniker! And it’s not even a stage name. She was born with it (but born without bilingual skills). Just like not all women named Mary are happy, nor are all men named Frank open and honest, not all women named Juanita can speak Spanish. Every Hispanic named Jesus should be able to relate since they can’t walk on water.
In truth, Juanita is the product of a West Virginia hillbilly and a New York City Puerto Rican – which makes her a “Hillbilli-Rican”! Yet, all that really means is that half of her relatives came here on a boat and the other half was sitting on the shore shooting at them.
Her parents’ wedding album looks like only one side of the family attended. You could only see her mother’s side of the family since her dad’s side was all dressed in camouflage and you couldn’t see them.
As for Juanita, herself, she has been married for 16 years. When they celebrated their last anniversary, her husband told her that it had felt more like 16 minutes… under water.
Finally, my good friend Carl Crispen joins the show to talk about summer camp. Pretty much every week spanning from June through July, Carl bounces around from camp to camp performing at camps around the country. One interesting aspect to this, compared to most stand up comedy gigs, is that he gets to spend a few days with his audience in between performances. But, Carl’s favorite part is raiding the kitchen with the band at 11:30 at night, after the campers have all bunked down.
When it comes down to it, improv and summer camp were made for each other since comedy improv takes on the tone and personality of the audience and whatever the campers are thinking about. Only at summer camp could a comedian receive the suggestion of a “two-headed-break-dancing-toaster”. At a typical improv club, you might get three audience members suggest a single component each of this monstrosity, but summer campers are able to pull off unassisted triple plays like this on a regular basis. The result? Carl’s team member spinning on his back with PopTarts flying in the air with a prop on his shoulder representing a second head, spouting off jokes galore!