“Love is not a feeling, love is a decision that we make.”
Justin and Jana Cofield found themselves on a roller coaster of emotions when they decided to pursue adoption through foster care. As God continues to write their family’s story, the Cofields trust His faithfulness and cling to Jesus as their hope.
Justin Cofield : Jana and I were married in our mid-twenties. After being married for about three years, we decided to start trying to have children. We tried for about eight months before conceiving Jackson, and we were really excited. But also, in those eight months, we got our first glimpse of life not being how we had imagined it to be.
After we were blessed with Jackson, we have now been trying to have another child now for about four years. Even after four years, we are still trying, still expecting, still believing and asking God to give us another blessing… all in the midst of fostering and trying to adopt as well.
When Jana and I were just dating and starting to talk about raising a family, adoption was one of the things we discussed early on, and I was on the fence. I knew that adoption was something that we wanted to do, but I was nervous and hesitant at the same time. I remember going out of town at one point to lead worship at another church and when I came home, Jana met me at the doorstep saying, “The Lord spoke to me this weekend about adoption. He told me that it’s never wrong to choose to love someone.”
Jana Cofield: I got involved with a ministry called Christian Women’s Job Corps, which mentors women trapped in the cycle of poverty, abuse and alienation. While there, I met a woman that I started hanging out with. Her teenage daughter had a little girl and they were struggling.
Justin and I were about to leave for a missions trip to Romania, and when we returned home, the grandma called and said that Child Protective Services was about to take the little girl away. She wanted to know if we could take care of her.
Justin: We thought that it might not begin until three or four days later. But, the next morning, Jana received a text message saying, “I’m heading to court right now. Can you meet me there?”
We headed straight for the courthouse. I dropped Jana off out front and as I drove around, praying, Jana called me: “Okay, I’m coming out… and I have this little girl with me.”
So, I pulled my car in front of the courthouse and there was this nine-month-old little girl in a stroller being pushed by her 16-year-old birth mother. So, mom and the baby’s grandmother together put her into her car seat in the backseat of our car… and that was probably one of the hardest things that I’ve ever seen – a birth mom having to say goodbye to her baby and not knowing when or if she would ever get her back.
At first, it was really easy to pour out love over her because she was just a baby and so sweet. We would bathe her, and hold her, and feed her… it was just very easy to love on her. Then, as she grew older, it’s different to love a nine-month-old than to love a two-year-old. A toddler has certain things that she wants to test you with.
But, as you invest in someone, you begin to love them no matter what.
So, sometimes it’s actually a struggle to love her knowing that someday she may go back. It’s hard to completely give myself over to that, knowing that one day we may wake up and she’ll be in her bed at someone else’s house.
Some of the challenges in dealing with the birth mom have been things we didn’t really expect.
Jana: At one point in the last couple of months, I was really struggling to love the birth mom. I kinda didn’t want to. I just wanted it all to go away. I actually just wanted us to be able to adopt our foster daughter and for it all to be over. But, I knew that God wanted me to love her. This was the first time that I ever had to be for someone at such a great personal expense. To invest in the birth mom means that I want to help her her to be healthy, help her be a good mom, and help her get her baby back.
The truth is that this is what Jesus did for me.
Jesus loved me even when I was hard to love. And it cost Him everything to love me, even His very life. He chose that. For me.
So, I want to walk obediently in His footsteps and love this birth mom… even when it is excruciatingly painful.
And, as the case is nearing its end, it looks as if our foster daughter is going to go back to her birth mom. So, there are all these questions looming about what’s going to happen to our family next.
I’ve been studying God’s character and attributes, and it’s been so good for me to understand and truly believe that God is true, faithful, just, and He loves our foster daughter more than we can ever imagine.
He is gonna write her story in a beautiful way, whether she is with her birth mom or she is with us.
And, I believe that He is still in the midst of writing our family’s story, and I trust His faithfulness and His goodness.
The Austin Stone Story Team is a community of artists who tell stories of gospel transformation. We are photographers, writers, editors, filmmakers, and musicians on a common mission to use our gifts for His glory.
(By The Austin Stone Story Team. Discovered by e2 media network and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not e2 media network, and audio is streamed directly from their servers.)