Apologetics of Pro-Life
Today we are going to discuss what I call the apologetics of pro-life. How to have a discussion regarding abortion, women’s rights, a baby’s rights, without rhetoric or arguing. How to defend these issues based on fact and not emotion. I have found that arguing never works, but having a meaningful, respectful conversation can change a heart. So how do we do this? First, we need to ask ourselves do we want to prove we are right, or use reasonable, factual information to plant seeds of doubt with truth. So a good way to start this conversation is by asking questions. Why? Because it gives you an insight to their mindset. It also allows them an opportunity to state their feelings. EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE HEARD. So a first question is, tell me why you believe abortion is okay. Then, remain silent. Let them tell you what their thoughts are. Many times nobody has ever asked them and been really interested in why they feel the way they feel. It will also show you, and probably them that they don’t really know why they believe abortion is okay and have only thought about it on a surface level. You also need to be willing to say, I completely respect your opinion on that. EVERYBODY has a right to their opinion. Trust me when I tell you this goes a long way in establishing this dialogue. Remember do you want to prove you are right or plant seeds of doubt? A few years ago, I was on a college campus at an information table for our clinic. I looked up and saw a woman walking toward us, and I could tell she was not happy to see us. She wanted to know who gave us the authority to be there, and how dare we be passing out information. I began to speak with her, ask her why she thought the way she did. All the while telling her that I totally respected her opinion. As it turned out many years before she had a bad experience at a pregnancy resource center, and whether it was true or not, it was true to her. I immediately told her how sorry I was that happened to her, her countenance began to change. I told her that I couldn’t speak for any other center. I could only speak about ours and asked her if I could tell her about what we did and how we treat women. I shared that when I was a single mom, I would have done anything to be helped by our services had I known they existed. After a few minutes she looked at the nurse and I and said, you seem like ethical people. I felt like we had one that battle because when she walked up, our clinic should not exist and I’m pretty sure she thought the nurse and I shouldn’t exist either! But she walked away with a different view, and hopefully began a road to healing of her pain. Remember, whether what happened was true or not, it was true to her and needed to be respected. During this conversation I kept asking her permission to share. Can I share with you? Have you considered? These are the same words we need to use when having this discussion. It deescalates what can become a tense situation. You need to state truths. Avoid emotional or accusatory statements. Don’t use the word YOU. It makes people feel attacked. Also, and this is BIG, if something cannot be fact checked by you, DON’T SAY IT! Trust me they will fact check you and if you have given false information you have lost all credibility. I learned this through years of speaking in high schools. They would call you out if you said something untrue and then you lost them. Next, address common rhetoric with thought provoking fact. I call these drop mic moments. Those moments when no argument can be had. So here are some of them. “During the first trimester it is just tissue so it’s not alive. Hmm, interesting, can I share with you that the human heart actually starts beating 21-22 days after conception. A woman generally finds out she is pregnant 30-35 days after conception. By the time she finds out she’s pregnant the heart has been beating for approximately 10-15 days. ——-Stay quiet for a moment—-So if we define death as the absence of brain activity and heartbeat wouldn’t the opposite be true to define life? Hey, listen, everybody needs to decide for themselves when it is justifiable to stop a human heart. And then stay quiet. Let them think about that. See you didn’t tell them what to think, you just gave them information. So, here’s another one, trust me when I tell you, I’ve heard all of these. The fetus is not human. I completely respect your opinion on that but let me ask you something, are the parents human? If the parents are in fact human wouldn’t they create another human? Again, stay quiet. Let them think. Well, it’s not viable. Okay, but have you considered that a baby’s size and location do not make it less alive? An infant left on its own will not survive, but that doesn’t make the infant less of a person. So, let me ask you, who defines personhood? In the not-too-distant history African Americans were not considered persons. The Jews in the 30s were not considered persons. Every time we separate personhood from humanity the results are barbaric. Pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a child has a greater impact on a woman than a man. Agreed, but does that burden justify ending a life? Should we not work toward empowering fathers to take a more active role? Should we not work toward schools and the workplace more accommodating to working parents. Do we really want to live in a society that tells a woman that she needs to kill her child in order to succeed in life? Isn’t that degrading to women? Should we not be educating men and women that there are places who are willing to come alongside and help? This shows people who differ from you how much you value women. See you can have this discussion without emotion, rhetoric, or accusations. Simply by respecting another person’s opinions, allowing them to express themselves, valuing them enough to listen, and stating fact. Again, when discussing abortion, do you want to prove you are right; or do you want to plant seeds of doubt? Defending life is ALWAYS going to be right. We don’t need to prove that fact. However, we can gain a lot of ground in this battle by rising above the rhetoric and yelling.
For more engaging videos regarding protecting life at all stages – especially before birth – check out more episodes of Life Grounded!
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