What are the Odds? / Two Types of Christians

To say that Jay Cardi is an unusual communicator is a mild statement. Maybe a little nuts would be more accurate. Not a preacher, not a teacher, more a storyteller with a very important message. Where some deep preachers are too snoozy for the rank and file, and where some humorists don’t have much to say, Jay’s stuff is generally regarded as an unusual blending of humor and profound content.

A former Oregon state basketball star and LA Laker, Jay has dedicated his life to helping people say yes to God. Now we hope you enjoy Cardi’s contemporary classics.

Some of you are what I call process Christians, and some of your point in time Christians. Point in time: you have a time, date, and place. Remember? You prayed with your grandma next to the bed, or in front of the TV, or walked forward at a church service, or at a camp meeting. You may have forgotten the exact date, but you remember that point in time where you dealt with who the person of Christ is. That’s about two thirds of you. It’s a three-fourths.

There’s a fourth to a third of you that have been highly persecuted in the church. They’re what I call a process Christian. You don’t have a time, date, and a place. Those of us with time, dates, and places have made you feel like second class citizens, because we want to know that you’re in. To know that you’re in, you have to have a date.

I first came across this concept, I was leading this Bible study. A guy’s wife came to Christ. The two kids came to Christ. About a year later, he came up to me. He said, “Jay, I’m a Christian.” I said, “Great, Johnny. When did it happen?” He said, “Well, I’m not sure.” I said, “Was it yesterday? A week ago, a month ago?” He said, “I don’t know. All I know is I stand before you. I’ve been forgiven to my sin, introduced to God, the father. The spirit of God has come upon me in a powerful way. I know Jesus is my savior. Jay, I’ve been born again.” I said, “That’s terrific. What’s the date?”

He said, “Why?” I said, “Well, you need a date of assurance.” He says, “Why?” I don’t know, but I want you to have a date. He doesn’t need a date. The day was for my benefit, not his. He just needs to know that he knows that he knows. Have you ever asked somebody this question? Are you a Christian? Well, I’ve always been a Christian. Have you heard that, right?

You know what they’re saying is I was raising a Christian home, or we used to pray before we ate our food, or used to say, now lay me down to sleep. I fell asleep at night, or read my Bible some, or I was confirmed. I was raised in the United States and never murdered anybody. They’re saying I’m culturally a Christian, right? When you say I’ve always been a Christian, it’s like the old saying, being born in a garage does not make you a car, or the better one, being in a donut shop does not make you a cop.

You see, you haven’t always been a Christian. You must be … how about this one? Are you a Christian? I’m working at it. I heard that. How hard you have to work to not be dead. Work will not solve the problem of deadness. It has to be resolved some other way. Work won’t do it. Right about now, Nicodemus, he is not your honor Nicodemus, Judge Nicodemus, Senator Nicodemus, professor Nicodemus, doctor divinity degree. He’s just Nick.

In verse nine, how can these things be? That’s too high pollutant for Jesus, because when you come, you got to come as a child. He pounds him down to Nicky. Says what? You’re a teacher, Israel? You don’t understand these things? Verse 11, you’re not listening to me. Verse 12, I’m telling you the basics. How you ever going to stand the deeper things to God? Verse 13, I’ve been to heaven and back. I ought to know what I’m talking about, and I do. Then verses 14 and 15, right out of left field. What do these have to do with anything?

Moses, and as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the son of man be lifted up, that whoever believes may in him have eternal life. Now, this is your basic snake. When I rode away from a traveling Evangelist kit, they sent me the snake. I try to use it as much as I can. Kind of looks like the bass singer’s mustache. You must pay the rent. Well, I can’t pay the rent. Well, I’ll pay the rent. My hero curses. Foiled again. I did get a better laugh in this service than I did the first one. It kind of died in the first one, didn’t it?

In Numbers 21, you don’t have to go there. I’ll be paraphrasing greatly. You’ll never recognize it. In Numbers 21, every time the children of Israel messed up, God would lay a heavy on them. They would endure the heavy. They would repent of the heavy. They would ask Moses to pray, and ask God to lighten up. Moses would pray. God would lighten up, and everything would be okay. When everything’s okay, you tend to forget about God, in which case, you mess up, and then God will lay a heavy on you.

You’ll have to endure the heavy. You’ll repent of the heavy. You’ll ask Moses to pray. He’ll pray. God will lighten up. Everything will be just fine. Then you’ll forget about God, and it’s called the sin cycle. Have you ever been on it? Well, one day, they grumbled about the food. You can’t really blame them. Although you’re thinking, man, it’s a good deal, right? Don’t have to cook it. Don’t have to grow it. No weeding to do. Just marvelous. Every morning, go up, scoop up a day’s worth. On Friday, get two days’ worth. Sounds good, doesn’t it? It was a curse.

It was just a way to keep the generation alive until the old generation died. It was a curse. You’re saying it sounds good to me. I said, “Well, no, it was a curse.” Let me prove it to you. Today, your pastor, who is a very big spender, is taking me to lunch. We’re going to Mickey D’s. On special, 55 cent Big Macs. That’s all right. I like Big Macs. I haven’t had one for a while, and I’m actually looking forward to it. Tonight for dinner, you know what I’m going to have? A Big Mac.

Tomorrow for breakfast, the only thing there’ll be to eat will be a Big Mac. I’ll be a little tired of them by morning, but I’ll have to have one for lunch tomorrow and one for dinner. For the next, count them, 40 years, nothing will pass through these lips except a Big Mac. 40 years. A Big Mac. Gag. A maggot. Won’t you be sick of Big Macs after 40 years worth? There are only so many ways you can fix [mana 00:08:09]. You’ll be sick of it.

There’s a lot of it too. There were two million men, at least two million women, at least two million kids. That means six million. We couldn’t keep 450,000 troops in Desert Storm in the area for four months. God kept six million there for 40 years. Every day, you needed two miles of train cars filled with food, and 1800 tanker cars filled with water. Every day, in an area that doesn’t support that kind of thing. I smell a miracle here. They’re pretty sick of mana, because one day they grumbled about the food, and it ticked God off.

He sent some little red snakes divide them. Every time a little red snake bit him, a person died. They said, “Oh Moses, we have really messed up this time. Go pray like crazy. Ask God to lighten up.” Pray, pray, pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Yes. Really? Bummer. I will. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I got it. I called the people themselves. I have good news. I have bad news. First, the bad news. God’s not getting rid of the snakes. Now, we prayed he would, but here’s the deal.

Every time God has gotten rid of our problems, we’ve forgotten about God. He is leaving the problem, because problems drive us to God. Without problems, we’ll trust ourselves. With problems, we can only trust in God. See, basically, problems are a good thing. Next time you have a problem, oh God. Thanks for my problem. Let’s drive me to you. Buddy told me to make a bronze snake and put it on the end of a stick and set it right in the middle of camp. Then if you’ve ever been bitten by a snake, if you just look at the snake on the stick, you won’t die. God has given us good news, a snake bite kit.

There were four responses. The guy was bitten by a snake. Oh ah, snake got me. I hate it when that happens. Now, God wants me to look at the snake on the stick, but I don’t believe in God. I never have believed in God. I’m not about to believe in God now. I think the pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night can be explained by natural phenomenon. Quite frankly, I think the whole Red Sea deal was just a lucky break. I think I will will up the powers within me and drive the venom from my system. He died.

Then a second guy’s bitten by a snake. Ah, oh, snake got me. Oh man. Everybody’s bitten by a snake dies. God wants me to look at the snake on the stick. Now I believe in God. Who wouldn’t believe in God? You’d really have to be a fool not to believe in God. To think that nothing plus nobody equals everything? Please. However, to think that there’s only one snake bite kit that works, awfully narrow thinking. I’ve heard of some other snake bite kits that work equally as well as that one. I think I’ll snag one out of the east. I think I will purchase a Hari Krishna snake bite kit and see how that works.

He died. Third person said, “Yikes!” Dramatic statement of exclamation. There are snakes around here. He took off over the hill. Guess what was out there over on the other side of the hill? One of them bit him and he … yeah, because he had gotten too far away. See, after he had been bitten, he turned, looked for a snake on the hill on the stick, and there was a hill between him and camp. He couldn’t see it. There was a fourth person. Ah oh, [yugga mugga 00:12:25]. Oh, that hurts when the snake gets inside of it.

It’s a killer snake. He looked at the snake on the stick, and he didn’t die. God said he wouldn’t die if he just did what God said. I locked the doors and barred them. You can’t get out. I am now dropping 5,000, count them, 5,000 little red snakes from the ceiling. They are landing on your shoulder. Ah. Oh. They’re in your, oh, you have serious hair. They’re getting in your hair. Ah, oh. Tangled. Ah. I’m pulling my feet off. The boy won’t help. These little suckers can jump. You will have been bitten by a snake before you get out of here.

Yeah. You’d been bitten before you walked in. Numbers 21 snake bite is just sin, folks. Just an illustration sin. There are four responses to it. Some people say there is no God, so it doesn’t make any difference. Sin is relative. If my Bible’s right, let’s just say if now for a minute, okay? If my Bible’s right, that person will spend eternity separated from God. Minimally, hell, minimally, if sin is wanting to be your own God, stick in your face and in God’s face and saying, “No, that just means original sin. Wasn’t the garden of Eden. The original sin was when Satan wanted to set his throne above the stars of God.”

Sin is wanting to be your own God. Minimally, forget the fire stuff for a minute, hell will be a place where there’s the total absence of God. Minimally, that’s what it is. Minimally. If my Bible’s right, anybody who makes up their own rules to this game called life, and decides to live them by their own rules will spend eternity separated from the God. They wouldn’t want to be with them anyhow.

Then there’s the second response. The person who believes God, but thinks that Christ is just too narrow. You see, if Christ is right, folks, and let’s just say if just for a second, if Christ is right, he makes the rest of the world’s religions wrong. Now, there is no room based upon what Christ said to have any serious seeker be okay. You can know that you know that you know, and be wrong. The folks who tried to follow that comment were absolutely sure they were right.

Folks, whatever it is that you’re absolutely sure you’re right on, make sure it confirms with the word of God, because it, you can trust. You can’t always be trusted. Then there’s this third batch of folks. If I were to talk to a thousand retired people, I’d be thrilled if one or two came to the Lord. If I talked to a thousand high schoolers, I’d be disappointed if there weren’t at least 50. Why? The old folks have said no so many times, the heart gets hard. Pharaoh said no six times, and was apostate. Couldn’t have come to Christ. When somebody with gray hair gets saved, I want you to know something: time for great rejoicing. They have greatly defied the odds.

85% of the folks that come to Christ do so before the age of 20. Then there’s that last person. Have you got this figured out, the snake is Christ and the stick is the cross? You got that, didn’t you? Why would Christ identify with a snake? Dirty rotten critters. Wants to totally identify with your sin, and too, he works by the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules. That’s the way he decided to do it. You can stare at Christ intellectually, and he will withstand intellectual scrutiny. You don’t have to get a frontal lobotomy to become a Christian.

If it doesn’t settle from here to here, it’s about 18 inches on me. It’s about 14 on you. If it doesn’t settle from here to here, it’s like kissing your sister. A head knowledge of Christ is like kissing your sister. Have you ever kissed your sister? Nothing happens. If I were to kiss your sister, I’d be pretty good, I don’t know. When you look at Christ with an open, expectant, obedient heart, three parts. One: believing. Now, can you believe it? Take your Bible and turn to page 2000, or roughly 50 pages from the end. Just grab 50 pages right in the back. Just approximately grab 50. Just grab 50 pages.

Now, you need to understand something. My dad used to be a bookie. He took bets on horse races and ran the card games in the back of the Porthole Bar and Cafe. I’m a gambler’s kid, and I understand odds. Here’s the question: what are the odds that the last 50 pages isn’t going to happen the way the first 2000 pages say they’re going to? Now, what are the odds on that? Now, there’s some weird stuff in the last 50 pages. There’s some sci-fi in here. There’s some Star Trek. What’s the difference between rapture and beam me up, Scotty?

Heaven, hell, demons, angels, warfare over your soul. God loves you. The God of the universe wants a personal relationship with insignificant, little old you. That is far out stuff. Why would an intelligent person believe the last 50 pages of this book? You got 2000 and never been wrong, huh? Written over a period of 1600 years, three different languages, on three different continents. It’s absolutely dovetails. Doesn’t conflict.

Try that for books written in the last five years in one country. Have you Christianized the lottery yet? Have you? [Inaudible 00:19:55] I could be for Jesus with about 150 mil? You show up and the pastor said, “Where’d you get the money?” I won the lottery. If there’s condemnation, it wouldn’t matter. Go start your own church for 150 million. Aren’t you basically throwing a buck away? Huh? Are you throwing a buck away? Now, why would you throw the buck away? You got a buck and it doesn’t matter if you throw it away, but you understand that the lottery is the greatest example of losers that exist. It is not an example of winners. For every winner, there are millions of losers. Am I right?

Power Ball Florida, some years ago, 140 million. One guy won it. One buck, 140 million. They sold 200 million tickets. That’s right. There were 199 million, 9,999 losers. We had one winner. Let’s change the rules. Play the lottery. You win, you get 140 million. Lose, they’ll kill you. We’d have fewer players, but we’d still have some, because desperation does that. Why would we have fewer players Increase the downside risk, and you understand how bad the odds are, right? Right. Let’s change this. What are the odds that the last 50 pages isn’t going to happen? You’ve got a bet.

Now you’ve got a bet. Here’s the bet. It’s not a buck, and it’s not your life. It’s your soul. You’ve got to bet your soul on the last 50 pages. You’re saying, “No, I’m not going to bet.” Well, when you have to bet, and you bet you don’t have to bet, you’re betting you don’t have to bet, that’s a bet. Everybody’s got to bet on something. The only difference between the word faith and the word bet, the word faith and the word bet is the odds. When you’re real sure you’re going to win, you got a lot of faith. When you’re not so sure, it’s a long shot gamble.

If you went to bed at night and you held all but one of 200 million tickets, would you sleep pretty soundly that night? You’d be pretty sure you’re going to win. If you only had one of the tickets, you wouldn’t sleep well at all. See, the difference between faith and the word bet is the odds. Do you have enough going for you to believe in the last 50 pages? You have to make that decision. That’s only part of the deal though, because the devils believe and tremble. It’s another component it’s called repent.

We’ve defined it as turning to God from sin. If it means I have to stop sinning, none of us have repented, because we’ve all continued to sin in one form or another. Am I right? Repentance is not turning to God from sin, unless sin is wanting to be your own God. Since that’s what sin is, if I believe I can stand before God and be okay on my own merit, because I’m a nice person, I haven’t repented. When I realize I can’t stand before God and be okay, and I let him be God and me not be God anymore, I’ve repented. That’s two.

There’s a little part called follow. Let’s all be brides at a wedding, just for fun. Guys, fake it. Do the best you can. The preacher says, “Do you take this woman to have and hold, in sickness and health, for richer for poorer, til death do you part, will you?” Your husband to be says, “What do you mean by that? How sick, how poor? Just exactly what do you mean by that?” Enough commitment for a relationship? When Jesus says, “Follow me,” and you say, “When, where? Under what circumstances?” It’s not following that saves you. It’s the willingness to follow that demonstrates that you believe correctly.

When you believe it, don’t want to be your own God, and within your limited understanding or willing to follow, and those things happen all at once, you’re a point in time Christian. Time, date, and a place. They happen at different periods of time. Process. When you know that you know that you know, and what you know confirms the word of God, great.

We hope that you enjoyed this week’s installment of Cardi’s Contemporary Classics. We’ll join Jay next week for a continuation of his laugh inducing and thought provoking insights. Until then, you can catch up on Jay’s and many other encouraging and instructive podcasts at The E Squared Media Network, at wwwd.etwomedianetwork.com.