Interview with a Fetus (aka A BABY!)
This week, we introduce our Meta-Human Reporter, Thor Ramsey, who has the power to interview things other reporters dare not to… or can’t! From your local hospital… here’s THOR!
Thor: Thanks, Brad! Since one of our topics today on Brad Stine Has Issues is abortion I thought I would interview a fetus, or as the homeschoolers like to call them, babies. As one abortion advocate stated, “The fetus beat us.” Let’s find out from an unborn baby herself how she plans to accomplish this in her lifetime. So Baby…
Baby Rowe: You can call me Rowe.
Thor: Okay! Baby Rowe what is your main strategy in not being aborted?
Baby Rowe: That’s probably why I kick so much. I’m just trying to say “There is a tiny human in here, I would like to stick around!”
Thor: Baby what do you think of a women’s right to choose?
Baby Rowe: Can you give me about nine months to work it out? Get it because, I’m a woman myself, I would like a choice.
Thor: So, baby Rowe an abortion advocate has argued: at six weeks the heart beat is not audible, it’s only visible. What do you have to say to that?
Baby Rowe: So since they can only see it, it must not be there? I guess since I’m a baby that doesn’t makes sense to me. You must have to be a tenured professor at Berkley.
Thor: Okay baby Rowe give us your best argument against abortion.
Baby Rowe: Well, think of all the things you could all be missing by all the children that haven’t been allowed to live. Imagine all the good television programs and movies you’ve been deprived of. Instead of “Property Brothers” you’d be watching a show called “Property”. Who wants to watch the “Brady Couple”, or “Look Who’s Not Talking”? Do you want to be responsible for the death of Bruce Willis? Don’t answer that, this country is divided enough.
Thor: Well baby Rowe are there any other issues you’re passionate about besides the right to life?
Baby Rowe: Yes the right to bear arms, I want to right to keep my arms and my hands and my feet. How would you like it if someone just broke into your house and took your appendages?
Thor: Isn’t this really a right to privacy baby Rowe?
Baby Rowe: Well I’m all for security cameras in the womb, it’s call ultrasound my friend.
Thor: So how do you answer this question, why do you let one issue define your politics?
Baby Rowe: Well this one happens to be really close to home.
Thor: Thanks for being a good sport baby Rowe!
Baby Rowe: Well, just like every day, I’m just hoping to stay here for the duration!