Rhetoric Repressor

Now, I realize that a lot of you are deeply offended by what I have to say, and confused because you’ve heard and felt things that have never occurred to you before.

This is called: A Difference of Opinion.

Now, I’m not even sure why you’re still watching, but if you are, you’re my hero!

Why?

Because it seems like we live in a culture where we’re not even allowed to disagree – where people don’t even know how to process dissenting thoughts.

That’s why we have created the Rhetoric Repressor – a machine so amazing that it allows two diametrically opposed parties to hear hone another’s ideas!

Let me demonstrate… but first, I’ll need a flaming liberal.

Flaming Liberal: Hi, Brad. I’m a “flaming liberal”…although, I prefer the term “progressive”.

Brad: Okay… you’re a flaming progressive!

Flaming Liberal: Don’t you label me, Bradley!

Brad: Okay… well, now that you’re here… what do you think of my show?

Flaming Liberal: Brad, it’s xenophobic, sexist, racist… Brad, you’re on the wrong side of history!

Brad: You forgot fascist… (Now… watch this…) Ahem… abortion is murder.

Flaming Liberal: And those guns you carry… do they go handing out hugs?

Brad: Wow… you really got me with a zinger there… or did you? Watch how I now demonstrate the Rhetoric Repressor!

(Machine lowers over their heads)

Now watch what happens when people actually listen to somebody else’s point of view: Hey… did you know that abortion is murder?

Flaming Liberal: Hey… now wait a second… from your worldview, life begins at conception, so I could see how you would think that abortion actually is murder. I get that.

Brad: See… that’s what we used to call “civil discourse” – conversations with differing opinions, and nobody getting angry. We knew how to think and discuss the issues. And boy, do I have tons of issues!

And as long as I’ve got a mind, a mouth, and a mic, I’m going to continue to teach you to think freely!

I’m Brad Stine… and I’ve got issues.