Health Care with Josh Harris

You know, if there’s one thing we’ve learned in this “new America” we live in, it’s that “If you don’t have the facts to convince folks, you can always pull out the old Emotional Card”.

Which brings us to our Emotional Card expert, Josh Harris.

Brad: It seems that one of the most emotional debates our nation has had in recent years has been about health care. What are your thoughts on that?

Josh: Well, Brad, I haven’t had a drink in years.

Brad: No, I…. I’m not sure…

Josh: Look, I knew I had a drinking problem back in the day when someone came up to me and told me, “Josh, you’ve had about eight shots since you got here. I think you just need to cut yourself off, put on a shirt, and stop trying to dance with every girl here.”

And I was like, “Why don’t you just shut up and learn to have fun… WE’RE AT THE CLUB!”

And, sadly, he replied, “That may be true, Josh… but this is Sam’s Club.”

Look, I knew I had a drinking problem because whenever I left the movies and I was hammered, I would try to brag that I was “smarter than you” because I had read the book. All my friends could do was look at me in the eye and question me, “You actually read Big Momma’s House 3??”

But, I knew that I had to stop drinking when my college professor kicked me out of class because I “wreaked so bad of alcohol that he could smell it from a mile away”. But, the worst part about it was that I was attending the University of Phoenix Online.

Brad: I don’t think alcohol issues is what I was referring to. God forbid that I keep you from reminiscing, but I’m talking about health care.

Josh: Of course. Sorry. Flashbacks Let me tell you… .health care is what I ‘m really emotional about, and I’ll tell you why: It’s too expensive!

This past year, I had to purchase health care for $300 a month. You better believe that the best day of the month was when I hit my deductible and everything was free, because I got my insurance company back!

We’d be at the club and my friends would ask, “Josh, how are you going to get home?” And I’d be like, “Why don’t we take an ambulance?”

Because there’s nothing more VIP than rolling with an EMT! Am I right, Brad?

Everywhere I went, I’d make a scene. I’d be like, “Yo, put down your wallets, cuz I’m buying everybody at this bar shots!… FLU SHOTS!!”

But, the controversial part about health insurance is that once you hit your deductible, you want to spend, spend, spend. But, before you get to that point, you’re afraid to see any kind of doctor because it’s so expensive.

For a while, I was so paranoid, I would be frozen in fear if anyone even mentioned a doctor around me. A friend would simply ask me if I wanted a Dr. Pepper, and I’d be like, “Is there a copay?”

Brad: Well, I appreciate your insights. Lord knows we’re all a little bit more depressed from all this. Whatever. It’s an Emotional Card, and Josh plays it well. Perhaps we should all try MediShare – healthcare for Christians, where you don’t get fixed… you just get to go to heaven.