Brad Stine Has Issues: Everything Wrong with Woke Environmentalists

Everything Wrong with Woke Environmentalists

Welcome to the New America. Dubbed ‘God’s Comic’ by the New Yorker, for 16-years, Brad Stine has been the comedic trailblazer of politically incorrect, Christian and Conservative comedy. His new show, ‘Brad Stine Has Issues’, covers cultural issues with his signature brand of comedic sarcasm and satire with insight that will be appreciated by everyone who loves laughter, liberty, and the freedom to tell the truth without fear.

Hey guys so how do we differentiate between healthy engagement in protecting our environment; and when is it over the top and oppressive? If you don’t know then that means the earth is going to die. Too much? C’mon in. 

I spilled some milk on the table the other day. It poured onto the wood floors and made a mess. Potentially, it went into the cracks and will sour and stink if I can’t get all of it cleaned up. In other words, it has created an environmental disaster. Consequently, with such a catastrophe and the potential for this to happen again, I have no choice but to begin to reevaluate whether we should still be allowing cows to exist.

Their production of milk has been beneficial over the years, but whenever there is a spill it really drives home the point of whether they are really worth the risk. I mean we are a much more enlightened and eco aware culture then we were when milk was first pumped and harvested without any concern or awareness of the potential for disaster. I mean, is milk and cheese and beef and leather really that important in the scheme of things, when we have an environment to protect? Not to mention I am incredibly disturbed by the fact that cows are female and yet we are extracting her milk which she had intended for her children, so what gives us that right? Let alone the fact that we are touching her breasts without her consent which is the equivalent of sexual harassment. Why is the #MeToo movement not all over this?

They tell us that humans are the only mammals to drink milk once they reach adulthood. That’s true but there is a logical explanation, we were the only ones of God’s creation innovative enough to invent ice cream! Plus, would we even have considered inventing cookies if milk had never existed? Not to mention how wonderfully milk compliments Cap’n Crunch. Could you imagine cereal without milk? We would have had to resort to water I guess, or someone would have had to be innovative enough to try root beer… (which sounds pretty good now that I mention it!)

When people speak of protecting the environment they always act as though “it” is a “she”. Mother nature has been the colloquialism throughout the years. We have to save the environment as though it is screaming for mercy. So, the implication is because nature is a woman, apparently she is incapable of defending herself and must rely on the strength and ingenuity of men to intervene. Scientific men I might add since there are more men entering the field of science than women. Now am I saying on average men are somehow smarter than women…yes. Of course, I don’t believe that but because I am told I am not allowed to make a joke like that anymore, I’ll do it again.

Men are smarter than women.

But notice even though the joke was uttered, (and when I say uttered it’s just a call back to cows) no woman was injured, no woman was suddenly abused or marginalized. Look, incredibly women are still respected and loved and necessary for men’s survival. Somehow, don’t ask me how but somehow even with the obviously sarcastic silly joke “men are smarter than women”, women are still allowed to vote! Why ,some of them are still in public office and are CEOs of major multibillion-dollar companies! Even though I made the joke men are smarter than women, women are still able to go to college and somehow, even with that joke hanging in the air, women are still here sitting next to men and yet considered equal, and we are even giving them the benefit of the doubt that they actually GOT the joke without having a mental or emotional breakdown. Somehow, no matter what the woke-ists have told you, apparently, women – and this is going to be hard to fathom – but apparently, they aren’t as fragile as we have surmised up until now! In other words, all you woke people out there, do us all a favor and go back to sleep. Sorry, I got off on a tangent there, I was supposed to be talking about the destruction of the environment thanks to cows. But there was more to take in then that. I laughed about the oversensitivity of woke culture to anything female as well as the overreaction to anything that serves man over the environment. You see the missing piece to all woke environmentalists the “environment” is actually only valuable because WE are in it! Its only purpose is to give us a place to breathe and eat and play and love and worship.

It’s about us and only we matter because we are the crown – the only living beings in the universe that can actually observe the environment and draw conclusions about how to best protect it because we as humans are the crowning achievement of God’s creation. The environment is our earthly residence and so to damage or destroy it is really cutting our own throats. Being respectful of our earth certainly is important but it is more important to be aware why we protect it. Because God told us too! God literally commissioned humans to tend to the garden but also to take dominion over it. We were allowed and encouraged and expected to use what we could to try and make our world even better than it is.

But here is where it gets out of balance. You will watch as environmentalists will begin to denigrate humans and our existence as a bane on the earth. They are virtually always claiming that man is the greatest threat to the earth. That man is going to destroy this beautiful habitat and that if man were only eliminated, the earth could return to its pristine splendor. By the way, this is the only area where the use of the word “man” I noticed is not considered sexist or gender inappropriate. No, the historic use of the word man that used to always include all of humanity but has been ditched for more inclusive word “person” suddenly is a perfect fit as long as it’s used to denigrate men. You never hear the woke-ists whimpering that if only “person” was more sensitive to the environment we could all survive. The psychosis of the woke environmentalist is that they despise humanity and believe we are the cancer that needs to be eliminated and so let me take this moment to agree with you. Humans need to go, so all I ask is we start with you. When all of you earth worshippers eliminate yourselves first to get the ball rolling so the rest of us can evaluate if it worked. But of course, what you never see from leftist ideology is that they are included in the mix. No, they never have to sacrifice their cell phones or plane rides or computers or fossil fuels or plastics because they alone need to be the overseers that have appointed themselves the caretakers that get to dictate for the rest of us what we have to sacrifice. If you ever get lectured by an environmentalist that isn’t living off the grid, trapping their own food building their own shelter from fallen branches and drinking their own urine, you have only have to do one thing to respond responsibly.

Ignore them.

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