Brad’s Political Translation Guide
I gotta ask you this: Why is making sense these days such a problem?
If I’ve made a career about anything, it’s speaking the truth and trumping tyranny, whether you like it or not! I believe in liberty and justice for all.
But… maybe you’ve heard someone say, “Everything’s political”, using sophisticated phrases to hide blunt realities.
You know… like using “fetus” instead of BABY.
It makes a difference.
It quickly becomes apparent that what you’re saying has very little relation to reality. But, if I can force you to live in my narrative, I rule you!
With that in mind, there’s a political translation guide that will help you understand what journalists really mean when they say things like:
- Journalist: Someone who actually used to give you facts and information.
- Peaceful Protest: No liberals were hurt while throwing bricks through windows, demanding “Death to pigs” or getting together in large gangs to waylay small, lone counter protesters from behind… all the while “being tolerant”.
- Guns: The cause of all crime. If we ban guns, nothing evil will happen. Does it work that well? Then let’s cut to the chase – let’s ban crime!
Well, I was going to shoot that guy, but apparently it’s illegal now. Guess I’m gonna have to resort to a life of labor.
- Anti-intellectual: Wait… journalists don’t know that word.
- Angry White Male: A white guy who votes Republican, owns a firearm, and was recently fired.
- Jesus: Someone who is completely irrelevant to any and all political matters, unless you’re claiming He would definitely support gay marriage, or abortion, or anything else that fits your agenda.
Because Jesus was love. Why wouldn’t He be, He invented the Christ-ler?