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Recently we read an article in the The Washington Post about teen birthrates hitting an all-time low. Part of the article jumped out at us. Bill Albert, chief program officer for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy was quoted as saying,
“There has been a change in social norms that has happened in the past 20 years, and the idea of not having sex or delaying sex is now something that can be okay.”
We wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Albert because we hear from students all the time that they are really not ready to have sex but nobody has ever told them how to say no.
Why then is virginity treated like a disease in the media? Something that someone should get rid of as soon as possible. Why, when people like recently married couple Russell Wilson and Ciara say, that even though they are not virgins, they are waiting to have sex until they get married, does the media mock them?
There is a huge push to fund and mandate programs in schools to kids as young as eleven that focus on correct condom usage, long acting reversible contraception (which offers no protection against STDs), and downplaying the severity of sexually transmitted diseases, and offer minimal at best, positive reinforcement regarding the health and socioeconomic advantages of waiting to have sex.
The ImWaiting program believes that accurate medical information is vital to a presentation about the risks of sexual activity. We also believe, through significant data that supports this, that delaying sex into adulthood, preferably in a long-term, committed relationship i.e. marriage has more benefits than risks. We agree with the Washington Post article that programs like ImWaiting, that stress developing one’s character before initiation of sexual debut, have shown to be effective in teens rethinking sexual activity at an early age.
Teens overwhelming tell us through anonymous surveys that they are feeling pressured to have sex, are not ready to have sex, but that the media pretty much tells them that it’s expected.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the media, instead of finding ways to shame people who are choosing to remain a virgin until marriage, or despite past choices are now choosing to wait until they are in a committed relationship, would back them? In many cases, this same media are the most vocal about the effects of poverty, forgetting the fact that one of the well-documented factors in generational poverty is teen pregnancy.
We’re glad that the Washington Post article included this quote by Dr. Veronica Gomez-Lobo, director of pediatric gynecology at Children’s National Medical Center,
“So many teens are waiting to have sex, the peer pressure goes opposite to the way that it might have in the past. We think this is a very healthy trend.”
We applaud that teens are rising above the noise from the media. Our goal is to reach as many teens as possible with the message that their virginity is certainly NOT a disease.