Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
If you go into marriage with the wrong expectations, you’re going to have problems.
Think about it:
Imagine if you went out and spent $30,000 on a new car, and because you spent so much money, you have the expectation that this car is going to look and run as good as the day you bought it for at least 20 years.
You assume that you don’t have to put gas in it – for $30,000, that baby better run! You don’t have to put oil in it, it’ll never need new brakes, nor tires; you’ll never have to wax it…
You’d be living under this delusion that if you spent $30,000, it’s going to look and run perfectly for 20 years and all you have to do is spray it off with a hose ever few months. If that were your expectation, what would happen after your first few hundred miles and you’re driving down the freeway and the car runs out of gas?
You would end up standing on the side of the road, frustrated that you ended up with a pile of junk. When the Highway Patrol pulls up, and you express your frustration that your car just up and quit running, he thinks you’re on drugs because you don’t understand the concept of “running out of gas”. He calls for a tow truck who drags your car to the nearest fuel station. $65 later (or whatever a tank of gas costs that day) and you then discover that your car will only last you another 250 more miles before you need to gas up all over again!
Your expectations are shattered.
Then, when you finally begin to get used to this “refueling” idea, your tire blows out. The same patrol officer pulls over and wonders even more about you as he looks at your four bald tires. At the auto shop, you then discover that not only do you need new tires, but you need brakes! $1,200 later, you are flipping out!!
Then, just six months later, the car looses power. It starts spewing smoke. Eventually it just seizes up and dies because you never changed the oil.
If you have the wrong expectations, you would believe that you got ripped off!
But, the fact is you didn’t get ripped off at all. You simply had the wrong expectations of what that car was supposed to do.
Likewise, many married people today feel like they have gotten “ripped off”.
Yes, we all make mistakes. But, often, our mistakes are a result of our wrong expectations.
We need to learn how to maintain our marriages, just like we need to maintain our automobiles. And, God gave us the manual – His Word! The Bible tells us that marriage needs on-going maintenance. You will never arrive at a point in your marriage where you can sit back and think that you will no longer need to invest in your spouse. It’s a continuous investment through the power of the Holy Spirit, into one another.
As we continue to understand God’s will for our marriage and allow God’s plan to govern what we do and what we say to one another… THEN we reap the fullness of marriage that God desires for us.
But, if you do not know what those things are, God pleads that you come to Him to discover His plan for marriage. Not to worldly methods or even your parents, but to God through prayer and His Word. The Bible will reveal the secrets and mysteries that God has in marriage.
Jesus Christ created marriage.
And He wants us to follow His example, His Word, and His will. Keep in mind that the Bible is not full of suggestions. It is full of instructions. You see, when we view the Bible as a bunch of suggestions that we can pick and choose from, you will never experience the fullness of following Christ, let alone as a husband and wife.
Jesus set the example for our mindset when He said:
“For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.” (John 6:38)
Jesus came to do His Father’s will and execute His plan and purpose. As Christians, or people living to be like Christ, we need to understand to see our roles in the same way.
Who Created Marriage?
Genesis 2:18 says:
And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
The world’s, or mankind’s, approach to marriage has been “We will stay together so long as you make me happy.”
But, God’s Word says that He created marriage (not us) to fulfill His will (not ours).
Psalm 145:17 tells us:
The Lord is righteous in all His ways,
And gracious in all His works
God has given His word to guide us in all areas of life, and He is not unrighteous. It would be an unrighteous, dirty trick for God to create something so wonderful and complex as a marriage and not give us clear instructions on how to do it right and the grace and power of the Holy Spirit to fulfill His instructions.