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Before we begin this week’s show, I need to share a story so that perhaps you can learn from my embarrassment:
A number of years ago, when my wife and I were newly married, I took my lovely bride out to dinner. It was a double date with my wife’s sister and her husband. Now, typically, my wife and I are very careful to mind our P’s and Q’s around her sister, as we know that she has very modest sensibilities. Public displays of affection make her very uncomfortable – as if people will think the worst of you if you’re seen holding hands or walking with your arm around your spouse in public. I mean, you can’t have perfect strangers thinking that you’re one of those people that go home and kiss each other behind closed doors!
However, on this particular occasion, my wife and I began to play “Footsie” with one another under the table (obviously out of her sister’s view). And we were good at it! I’m talking a “passionate” game of footsie was taking place below the tablecloth here!
So, here’s what happened next: firstly, my brother-in-law’s phone rings, so he briefly excuses himself to take the call. We continue our romantic footsie game. Then my wife stands up and excuses herself to use the restroom. And yet, somehow, we are still in the middle of our deeply passionate footsie session!
It took about ten seconds for us to figure it out, but my sister-in-law and I snapped to attention and jumped up from the table, realizing the greek-tragedy-ish scene that was playing out below the table.
So, there’s your lesson: When playing footsie, double check to make sure that the feet you are playing with are indeed attached to your spouse! Steer clear of your sister-in-law… your mother-in-law… or your father-in-law… whatever the case may be! I mean, it’s all fun and games until professional counseling is needed.
Next, comedian Greg Hahn calls in on our “Punch Line” to talk about sports and recreation. As Greg puts it, too many people hate the idea of playing golf. They think it’s boring… but not if you tackle! Full contact golf is very exciting! Greg has his own method of approaching the game: every shot, he uses his driver. He doesn’t care about the length to the green – let the big dog eat! Par three? Tee it up, break out the Big Bertha and let her rip! Walk forward six feet and hit her again!! Or take his buddy, Johnny, as an example on how to add spice to the game. Whenever Greg is in the middle of his backswing, Johnny makes a little noise to distract him. So, on the next hole, as Johnny is about to tee off, Greg gets back by plucking him in the neck with a two-iron. Now that’s full contact!!
And what’s with the people who buy a house right alongside a golf course and then they complain whenever you happen to bounce a ball off their kid’s head? They should just be happy that they don’t live next to a bowling alley.
And finally, Jim Hope joins the show as this week’s featured comic. According to Jim, if he had to go all the way back to the beginning of his comedic journey, he’d have to go ALL the way back to the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth. But, in order to offer up the abridged version of his story, he picks up the story while he was in college. He was part of a comedy group that did some stand up. He quickly realized how much fun it was and coupled that with the self-realization that he was never going to be a college professor or help the world in any way, so he decided to selfishly use what he enjoyed most out of his college experience and soak up the glamor that came with a microphone and a stage. He had no idea how famous he’d become, but he made the decision to at least be one of the top five most famous people in his carpool to the comedy club each night. And, at this point, he’s under-qualified to do pretty much anything other than stand on a stage and tell jokes. But what other job allows you to 1) meet girls; and 2) work out during the day? (at least that’s what he wanted in a career when he was 22).
Then he made the life-altering move of getting married. That singular moment triggered a series of events that changed his priorities from wanting to selfishly meet girls and work out to being a devoted husband and father. You’ve no idea how difficult it is to be the narcissistic moron that you want to be when there are other people depending on you. When he suddenly realized that life wasn’t all about him, he was struck with shock and horror.
And that’s when he stopped making his career all about himself and began writing for other comics, making even more people laugh, while setting aside much of his life to spend with his wife and daughter. He started out writing for Henry Cho’s Friday Night, which led to opportunities to write for Later with Greg Kinnear, then Late Night with Conan O’Brien and then the show Titus on FOX. Basically, Jim enjoyed a string of being friends with the right people at the right time… and being extremely funny on top of it all! Even after Titus was cancelled, Jim was able to land on his feet as a writer and co-executive producer of a little show called the George Lopez Show. These days, his name can be seen every day, preceded by the word “Producer” on Disney’s Dog With A Blog.
But despite all his success as a big-time television producer and writer, he still enjoys making people laugh from a lone microphone on a stage. Yes, even though he prefers sleeping on his own floor, compared to the floor of a TravelLodge out on the road, he still remains a “man of the people”, bringing his unique brand of smart, clean comedy to events all across the country.