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It’s been said that the key to any happy marriage is healthy communication. In the cases of blended families, it’s not only the key to happiness, but paramount to the marriage’s survival.
Therefore, let’s consider these questions:
Do I feel that I am heard and understood by my spouse?
Do I really hear my spouse, or do I make assumptions and think, “I know what they’re saying”?
The first step is to honestly look at ourselves in light of these questions and rid our discussions of any assumptions and criticism. You see, we’re always communicating – sometimes verbally and others non-verbally through our actions. The key question is, is it healthy communication, or is it riddled with assumptions, aggression or criticism? Decreasing the negative communication in a marriage is just one part of creating harmony. Another is increasing the positive communication.
As I learned the hard way, avoidance and assumptions do not contribute to learning how to communicate in a healthy manner. But wise counsel and clear, HONEST discussions do.
In times of stress, there are generallly three different communicaton styles. Learning your and your spouse’s innate stale is a great first step toward healthy communiction. These three styles are:
1) Passive Communiction
2) Aggressive Communication
3) Assertive Communication
Learning how to move from passive, agressive (and even passive agressive) communication to assertive, is vital to having sincere and honest discussions. Learning to communicate well establishes respect, encourages honest dialogue and helps pave the road to a happy marriage and harmonious household.
For more tips on blending your step family, check out Pam’s website at www.NouveauLifeCoaching.com
