Hell Explained: If God Were a Game Master…

Let’s make the Gospel super easy by asking the question: what if God was a Game Master?

Welcome to the New America. Dubbed ‘God’s Comic’ by the New Yorker, for 16-years, Brad Stine has been the comedic trailblazer of politically incorrect, Christian and Conservative comedy. His new show, ‘Brad Stine Has Issues’, covers cultural issues with his signature brand of comedic sarcasm and satire with insight that will be appreciated by everyone who loves laughter, liberty, and the freedom to tell the truth without fear.

What if I told you that you have an eternal destiny whether you like it or not and there is hell to pay if you don’t play by the rules? A’hhh I’m just playing games with you…..or AM I? 

Let me ask you a question. Let’s pretend that there is a world out there that was created by a metaphorically speaking Game master. In order to participate in the game there are rules like all games. One of the rules is you need to be perfect in order for the perfect game master to be able to be in communion with you. You might ask but I didn’t ask to play in the game so it’s not fair for me to be held to a standard I didn’t agree to. Kind of like kids complaining when you say you’re the dad and they say they never asked to be born. Little late to play the conception card. So you come to realize that you’re not the gamemaster. That the gamemaster had a reason to create you that you can’t understand. Would you agree it’s possible that you don’t know everything and so if the gamemaster invented you it was the ultimate good? Your only other option would be to say you know everything there is to know? If not, and there is a being that does, then if they made you then it had to happen. So now you’re in the game and you have failed to reach the requirements of the rules. You have sinned? What is sin? Whatever the gamemaster told you it was. Why? Because he made the rules and we have established that he would have to be perfect thus his rules are perfect and exactly as they must be to bring us to this position we are right now in having this discussion. But here’s the dilemma. The punishment for losing the game isn’t just losing bragging rights. The punishment is eternal separation from the gamemaster. This would be the ultimate punishment and would be something that is indescribably horrific. BUT, Let’s also say that the Gamemaster had only one objective ultimately. That you win the game! That he created a destination so magnificent, so mind boggling that if you were to taste of it you literally would do anything imaginable to enter into it. No amount of pain, or sorrow or cancer or war, or evil is comparable to what the gamemaster has created for winning the game. Here is the kicker, even though the game is hard and painful, the gamemaster has created a “cheat” to use gamer speak. There is a glitch or an Easter egg or whatever game style vernacular you choose to be aware of it. And ultimately the gamemaster loved you so much he actually created a game where every human being that is in the game can win. Everyone can win it. This is accomplished because the gamemaster knew you wouldn’t be able to win on your own but instead he sent his partner in the game design to participate in the game himself. He knew all the risks and the rewards, He knew where every pitfall was and where every evil bosses lair was and he went ahead and defeated them all. But then he did something incomprehensible, he took the punishment for failing to win the game. Not because he didn’t win, but instead, because you didn’t win. So he took the penalty for you and thus the gamemaster was able, as a just and righteous judge proclaim the penalty for losing has been paid. Now those who are in the game literally can simply accept the get out of jail free card that the gamemaster has provided for every single human on earth. The only criteria? To acknowledge you couldn’t win on your own so you are accepting vicariously the victory of the game designer. That’s it. That’s how you win the game, you simply tell the designer I can’t beat this on my own so I trust you when you tell me you have done the hard work for me. I will now spend my time in the game trying to follow your rules the best I can as I travel this life journey. Oh, and I will also tell everyone else I meet where they can pick up the get out of jail cards so they too can automatically win. Now let’s just pretend that the scenario I described isn’t a hypothetical scenario after all but is in fact a commentary on our lives. That we are in a magnificent game and there are real consequences for losing but unimaginable joy in winning. My question is simple, would you want me to tell you where the get out of jail card is? If hell were real, would you want to know? If I knew, would I have an obligation to tell you or would it be more loving for me to keep it to myself? Even if you think I’m foolish and backwards, would you want me to mention it anyways or keep it to myself? OK, let me leave you with this. Jesus is the get out of jail free card. There, I fulfilled my obligation. You are in the game so…what are you going to do now?

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