Have I told you that you are beautiful?
Yes I know it’s an odd way to start a podcast to a man. But it’s the question I ask my daughter everyday.
Now to be honest its not always the same question… I change it up a little each time something like, “Have I told you how smart you are?” or “how strong” or “how caring you are”. And no matter if I have told her how smart, strong, beautiful, brave she is her answer is always the same. “No Dad, you haven’t told me.” And then I start my showering of praises.
Baby girl you are so beautiful that God stops looking at everything in nature to watch you dance and sing. Babe you aren’t just beautiful on the outside but your heart is so beautiful that you make everyone you know feel better about themselves. Do you know that God made you perfectly the way you are? He worked hard to make you perfectly unique and special.
The reason I do this is because at the age of 8 years old my beautiful little girl came home and told me, “Daddy I have fat thighs.” I thought, “WHAT? You are 8! Why are you even thinking about thighs?”
Some little punk 8 year old called my little girl fat.
At that very moment my mind flashed back to where I was when I got made fun of about my weight.
I’ll give you a second to go back in time and remember where you were when people had bad things to say about you. Was it your weight, height, color, gender, certain abilities? We all have them, these comments that stick in our minds that no matter how long it’s been we still hear them.
So I intentionally ask my daughter these questions because I want my voice to be the loudest voice in her head, not these idiots.
Another thing I started doing is waking my kids up speaking truth into their lives. These are little comments that I want them to start the day focusing on. Things like, “beautiful girl its time to wake up”, “Champ its time to win the day” or “Little warrior it’s time to fight the good fight”. I want their mindset to be that dad thinks I am beautiful, dad thinks I’m a winner, dad thinks I am powerful. I want them to start the day knowing someone believes in them and hopefully if they hear this enough then they will believe these things about themselves.
I know grown men who don’t believe these things about themselves. I know guys that every morning they wake up they hear a voice from their childhood telling them they are weak, useless, losers. How different would their lives be if they woke up with voices of encouragement, with a personal soundtrack of victory & success?
This isn’t self-help feel good guru stuff – this is Gods truth.
Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
The tongue has the power of life and death. I am not saying if you say the wrong words you are going to kill someone, but what you can do is kill some of their self-confidence.
When my kids first moved into our home we were talking about nicknames and what sort of fun things we were called. I told them growing up I was called Big Mike, Big Hod, Hoddy Doddy, and a few other silly names. One of my boys said, “I don’t have a nickname unless Fat is a nickname.” My heart broke for him. Since he was a chubby baby his family called him Fat-Fat. I guess calling a baby that might be ok, but a child who knows what that means is brutal. Years later this kid who is as strong as an ox and super athletic only see himself as fat.
Think very long and hard about the words you will speak over your others. Your words will give life or death.